Glaciers are so blue.
Snow becomes hard ice, they say.
Don’t cry, glacier friends.
Midnight sun; can’t sleep.
Convince myself I’m tired.
No, time for breakfast.
Hand me the shotgun.
Take that, Dr. Pepper can.
You too, Diet Coke.
Do you have any
pickle ice cream? It's
my favorite kind.
Baby names are tough.
Much harder than choosing names
for dogs, cats even.
HAIKU
I started writing humorous poems in the 5-7-5 format of Anglicized Haiku as a fun way to send postcards to people during my travels. I thought it’d make a much more enjoyable read for friends and family than the usual “Got up this morning and went to St. Peter’s. Wow! Then we ate pasta and walked around the Colosseum.” Snooze. These are way better and very creative.
Gubbio, real old.
Chain mail armor, maces too.
One pizzeria.
Rocket sauce, grappa.
Michael, Grace and her mother.
More tartufo cheese.
Cabrio Smart car.
“Fiat of the century,”
So a priest chuckled.
Here kitty, kitty.
Have some salami fresca.
But don’t choke on it.
M & J Hostel
He washed his feet in the sink.
Ours was mildewy.
Watch for grizzly bears
in the bush. They’ll eat you up.
-
MMM.Gobble, gobble.
Orcas (killer whales)
They’ve surrounded the boat. Quick,
feed them the children.
Salted cod--salty.
Deep-fried everything for lunch.
Vegetable? French fries.
Vasco de Gama
What’s the big deal with this guy?
He’s dead and buried.
Custard tart, coffee.
Dessert after every meal.
Big, fat Lisboans.
Everyone smokes here.
I’d inhale less smoke if I
just started smoking.
A glass of Port, please.
Decanter on the night stand.
Oops. I finished it all.
The womb, they say, is
where we all want to return.
I liked Mexico.
Coochie, coochie, coo.
Num, num, num, little baby.
You smell like powder.
Schnitzel, potatoes.
Every day at the canteen
I feel breaded, fried.
Comfy leather seats.
Constricting lederhosen
Leather on leather
Quark! Sort of like cheese
But also like yogurt; with
strange German berries.
Autobahn, zoom zoom!
Lots of bugs on my windshield.
Get them off, darn it!
Eine beer, bitte.
What was that you just said, 'cos
I don't speak German?
CNN. BB-
C, CNN. BBC.
I want HBO.
Speeding down Autobahns
Eyes are dry from not blinking
Like Play Station 2
I eat lots of pork
Every day with mushroom sauce.
No veggies in sight.
Hmm, cup of fur please.
With two milks and one sugar.
Yes, extra pelt. Thanks.
The stars at night are
Big and bright, deep in the heart
of Texas, they say.
These missions, crumbly.
Well,they’re old from what I’ve heard
Like I said, crumbly.
Hey, armadillo!
You look well protected, sir.
Leathery, armored.
Tumble, tumbleweed.
Yeah that’s it--tumble, tumble.
Okay, thats enough.
Mas margaritas,
Por favor. Si, si senor.
I’m rather thirsty.
